ultimately just makes this mirrored scene so much more heart-wrenching and bloody damn sad.)Īs the face is generally how we identify each other, even the gems are confused as to whether to call Phos “Lapis Lazuli” or not. It’s almost akin to Phos saying: “I’ll make you happy - I promise. (Maybe it’s just me, but when Phos first claimed they would “save” Cinnabar and find them a rightful job in chapter 2, it’s almost a romantic confession. And it also reminds us that Phos, having lost their original legs and arms, doesn’t remember everything clearly - its all in bits and pieces, and unfortunately, those precious moments between Phos and Cinnabar are, therefore, also in bits and pieces. Phos even thinks: “I, did I say so much unnecessary things?” This highlights their exact thought of “fun” as just that - unnecessary. When Phos asks Cinnabar to help them investigate Sensei’s relationship with the Lunarians, I’d even go further and say that this is purely for their own selfish desire - their desire to know the “truth.” It’s not for the sake of Cinnabar, but for Phos’s own personal agenda. There is no space for it - no place for if to fit it in any equation. They still hold their value of helping others, but that concept of childish “fun” isn’t in the question anymore. Remember when Phos first told Cinnabar that they would definitely find a job that was “fun”? A job only Cinnabar could do? Phos has literally turned a 360 here. To help the gems unconditionally? To fight alongside their comrades? To me, this is the true start of Phos’s values gradually shifting - the beginning of all the doubts that start to wiggle their way into Phos’s mind.Īnd then comes one of the scenes that really made me want to cry. It all comes as a shock - a dawning jolt - that, in the end, they hardly know what they wanted in the first place. They never once thought to think for once about the mechanics of the island they live in, why they’re fighting the Lunarians in the first place, or why the Lunarians steal the gems away from the island. While Cinnabar is lonely because they emit poisonous mercury and thus cannot be too close to the other gems, Phos, though surrounded by all the gems constantly, is lonely because of their lack of knowledge (more simply, their lack of “inclusion”). There’s a sense of isolation they get that’s psychologically different from the one Cinnabar has. To me, the fact that Phos was the only one in the dark for quite some time, somewhat ignorantly trusting everything Sensei said or told them to do, sets them apart from everyone else even more. It wasn’t discussed openly, but everyone decided to trust Sensei, whatever happens.” To be accurate, everyone has an inkling that it’s so. Is Adamant Sensei truly good? Does he have some kind of relation to the Lunarians? What does this entail and what is he hiding? Phos even goes ahead and questions Cinnabar about Sensei who responds with: “Everyone knows. Arguably, shedding that skin of childhood leads way to more doubts than someone might imagine, and this is exactly what Phos is going through. Your rose-colored glasses starts to crack and when it doesn’t hold up anymore, you have to toss it away. With the act of “growing up” comes a whole lot of questioning.
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